“untitled,” and “June 4, 2021.”

Untitled

The only place I truly feel at peace is inside of a quiet mosque. Even if god doesn’t exist at all. The only place I feel legitimately at peace is inside of a quiet (and by that I really mean empty) mosque. Me, my book, and god. That’s it. The book doesn’t judge, abuse, tyrannize, or bully you. Whatever book you’re reading, at the time. And neither does god. Neither does the overall building—the environment. I also feel at peace inside of my room in my parents’ townhouse, and at certain nature spots.

---

June 4, 2021

I need to let go of certain blockages, and “old voices in my head that are holding me back,” just like the song “Little Talks” expresses. From the band “Of Monsters And Men.” I can’t continue on this same path, anymore. I need something better for me to follow, for my own well-being.

Frustration, anger, and fear become difficult when they become all-consuming. But if you feel them, that’s ok. Just try and breathe, and try to remember your mantras. Mine are “life is short,” “this too shall pass,” and “It’s not my fault. Life is not my fault.” I also use “I remain grounded, no matter the force or direction of the wind.*” I remain grounded no matter the source or components of the distress—no matter where it comes from, or what it’s made of. What it is, exactly. It could be anything. None of it matters. | “The only way out, is out.” Meaning; the only way bad memories, emotions, and thoughts will leave is if they come out. Suppressing never lets them out. “I’m just a regular human being” is a universal one, too. People say it in times of weakness and defeat, but it’s way more celebratory than that. It’s almost pep-rally and ceremonious, because of how light-filled a regular human being actually is. “Every day is a struggle” helps me too, for some reason. “I don’t really know what I’m doing” is also comforting. It reminds me of all the other people who don’t really know what they’re doing, either.

I often get so caught up in desiring a life that I don’t have, and in desiring qualities and life characteristics that I don’t have, that I neglect my current situation, and how much goodness it also has to offer.

*I found this quote on the internet. It may have originated from a specific culture or person–sorry that I dont know the exact context; “I remain grounded, no matter the force or direction of the wind.”

---